Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy, Down In My Heart

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus," (Philippians 4:4-7 NIV).

Joy. Have you got it, down in your heart, today?

I have always struggled with joy. Joy has not been my constant companion. It has often been overshadowed by feelings of inadequacy, self-hatred, sorrow, grief, or guilt. I could barely sing the songs of joy because my heart was breaking instead.

I was initiated into grief when I was one year old. I didn't understand it. I didn't know until later that my family was grieving the sudden loss of my 19-year-old brother. The pain of loss of such a precious, beloved, only son, pervaded my life in an unspoken, torchure-some way. I saw the tears of those I loved; the grieving that couldn't end; I hurt with them though I didn't know why.

I think that is why my life has been a constant battle, trying to climb out of a deep, dark pit. No psychotherapist has ever diagnosed this problem. I had to find it myself; through 60 plus years of living with depression.

Yes, I have experienced times of joy but even then there was a fog hanging overhead that told me I didn't deserve happiness, or I couldn't have joy, because the fog of sadness would return. And it did.

Baby Piper, #6, warmed my heart with joy; all of my grandchildren do.

Even now in retirement when life is supposed to be perfectly peaceful and relaxed, my mind harbors on concerns, heart-breaks, and losses. But, my faith always gives me hope for the eternal joy we will share together with Jesus.

"You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand," (Psalm 16:11 NIV).

This promise gives me joy. An assurance, a positive knowledge that I know is true. It fills my mind and soul; sometimes it even pushes out the pain of sadness. There is joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart today.

Lord Jesus, come to us today and fill us with Your unstoppable joy. Let us experience a glimpse of what tomorrow will hold, if only we believe in You. Amen.

SDG