Forgive When You Can't Forget

Last week while I was studying my Bible I was brought to task that I was holding unforgiveness toward my parents from incidents in my teen years. Now, as I think of my teen years, it isn't me who should be complaining, my parents have much to forgive me for; I was a mouthy, obnoxious teenage girl.

When I was a teenager there were no cell phones. Yes, I'm really, really old. We lived on a farm five miles from the town I went to school in. Occasionally I had reason to stay after school for things. I was a stats person for the girls basketball team when I was a freshman. I remember being the last one at the school building, waiting for my ride, in the dark. I would stand or sit at the door with my books, watching.

I got to know the custodian pretty well and was embarrassed when the coaches would walk by, asking why I was still there. It was an awful feeling. I knew my dad would show up eventually, but it felt like I was there forever. I watched the car lights come and go until finally it would be my dad in his work truck.

It wasn't just after school that I waited. I waited at church camp to be picked up. It was me and the cook, then finally just the camp director left on the camp grounds waiting. He couldn't leave until all the kids were picked up. I called home and found out they were confused about the time to pick me up or forgot, so they didn't start driving toward the camp until most people were gone. It felt like I waited forever.

My parents were wonderful, but am I still holding some unforgiveness toward them because they were consistently late? After all these years, I need to let those hurtful times go. Mostly I have, but when I remember how I felt, waiting, the wondering if they would come, did they forget me, the loneliness and anxiety of being the last one picked up, it still hurts.

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity," (Colossians 3:13-14 NIV).

Fortunately, by the time my parents died, our relationship was truly one of love and respect for each other, making my grief so much greater. Forgiveness is so important. Life doesn't move on without it.

Thank you, God, for helping me forgive even when I can't forget. Your love is perfect and always on time. Thank you, thank you, Jesus. Amen.