Appearances

Through the years I have struggled with accepting my appearance. It seems there is always something I wish I could change. I am never happy with the body I've been given.

When I was in junior high my biggest concern was my crooked teeth. I begged and begged my parents for braces to fix them. It was no small request as there wasn't money for such a huge expense in those days. Meanwhile, I smiled with my mouth closed so no one would notice my teeth. My parents finally gave in to my pleading and set up a payment plan with an orthodontist. 

But first, I needed repair of a lot of cavities. Another big expense. I hadn't taken care of my teeth. So I endured weeks of grinding and filling; just what I deserved. Eventually I was ready for the wonderful metal bands on my teeth that I would wear for four years. Another reason to smile with my mouth closed, even in my senior pictures. I got called "tinsel teeth" and "metal mouth" by some of my classmates.

Even my orthodontist contributed to my self consciousness by telling me, "Now, if only we could get rid of that pointed chin of yours." Yet another thing to be ashamed of.

My braces were finally removed just weeks before my high school graduation. I was so happy with my smile. I finally opened my mouth to smile without being self conscious. 

Now, fifty years later, I see that my teeth have gradually shifted a bit, so they aren't as straight as they were. But, I'm okay with that. I have finally accepted my appearance as who I am. I'm far from perfect but I am who I am. At some point in my life I began to believe what was said in 1 Samuel.

"But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart,"" (1 Samuel 16:7 NIV).

I guess being old makes some things less important in life. Oh, I still dislike my pointed chin. I struggle with my weight and now I am marred with scars from skin cancer removals. It is okay; the Lord looks at my heart. I hope He sees beauty there.

Lord, help me accept my appearance as who You have made me to be. Thank You for seeing my heart and not the outward appearance that others see. Your lavish love fills me with confidence and peace. I love You Lord. Amen.